Three poems

I.

Voluptuous radishes
Ululate rashly
In the all-American shopping mall
Fellatio spectacular
La la la vino
Pass the dutchie on the left-hand side
Anderson Cooper without pity
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Cats and more cats.
Thank you.

II.

Breaker breaker
the ghost of my CB self
Haunts the cosplay orgy
Where faux-anime schoolgirl slut
Checked her cell phone every ten minutes for news about her father’s condition
Why was she there in the first place?
Even CB-me wondered
Because poon comes first
Or so I’ve heard

III.

Television pacifies
With its consumerist lies
All the gals and all the guys
But who cares other than pretentious teenagers
Who have just discovered that rich lives matter?
Consumerist lies are our national myth
Keeping us from diddling ourselves to Karl Marx
Who would have hated nuke-the-illegals cell phone apps

Copyright © 2015 by David V. Matthews

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Flash fiction (a hundred words or fewer) #5: Turquoise Balls

My fifteen-year-old daughter Kelsey called me one night. “Mom? I’m at the police station. I got arrested for beating up some bitch who deserved it. Could you bail me out, please?”

No one in my family had ever been arrested for anything. I almost told Kelsey to enjoy rotting in jail, until I realized she’d overcome her timidity. Girls had walked all over her for years; she would cry in her bedroom about it.

After I’d bailed her out, she said “At least that bitch had nice earrings—like, turquoise balls?” I also realized Kelsey had developed some fashion sense.

*****

Written on the spot

Copyright © 2015 by David V. Matthews

Flash fiction (a hundred words or fewer) #4: Braces

I drank so much in college, I flunked out my junior year, but by then I’d somehow wangled a paper-pushing job at the company my roommate’s father worked for, Carson Construction.  My roommate’s father had a million-watt smile that could defuse the worst situation; I never smiled, due to my crooked teeth that looked like falling dominoes.  Saving money for braces would have helped (Carson didn’t offer dental insurance), but self-medicating, so to speak, made me popular.  Then I resigned because I felt confident I’d learned enough to succeed somewhere better, even with lousy teeth.  Ha.  Straight teeth rule.

Copyright © 2015 by David V. Matthews